Saturday, July 16, 2011

The Clit-erion Collection... Above The Knee (1994)

Building the ultimate porn library, one great flick at a time

continuing an occasional series looking back at the greatest XXX films ever made... the CLIT-erion collection of adult jewels, unsung gems and stone-cold-crazy cunt cult classics.


There are probably (well, definitely) more absurd premises for a triple X movie than that which ignites Above The Knee. But in terms of prolonging the inevitable for as long as possible, the story of a dreamer who awakens his wife by screaming her best friend’s name, but without the satisfaction of actually dreaming anything to merit that response, is definitely one of the most peculiar.

Marc Wallice is the long-suffering, but implausibly dimwitted Luke - a man, incidentally, who seems to keep his briefs on even while having sex; Rebecca Bardoux is his blindingly naive newlywed wife Julie, and Tera Heart is the calculating Claudia, the girlfriend who haunts his nights, a buxom temptress who will permit him to do whatever he likes to her. Provided he doesn’t move above her knee. Oh, and just to confuse things further, Luke and Claudia hate one another.

It’s an oddly understated movie, Ariel Hart’s script seeming wordier than many movies twice the length of this one, while director Toni English is certainly shooting with one eye on the softcore erotica audience, even while laying some unabashed hardcore on your eyes. The oral scenes are clearly a favorite of cast and crew alike, but there’s a tastefulness at large that will really piss off the cum-in-her-eye and spit-up-her-ass class of viewer.

Even better, not one of the cast gets caught up in the monosyllablism that is the lot of so many porn actresses, meaning here’s a movie you can watch with the sound up, and still convince your neighbors that you’re watching HBO. Plus, you can’t shake the sense that the cast are playing as much for their own laughs as anybody else’s beginning with a delightfully over-scripted bridal shower featuring Julie, Claudia and a deliciously conspiratorial friend, Danielle (Kaitlyn Ashley).

Later, Dani and Claudia lure one of Luke’s pool pals (Tom Byron) into an intriguing game of Blind Man’s Bluff. And, as things move on, we see people we’ve not even met getting down - a scene intended partially to allow Luke another look at Claudia’s knee (which really isn’t that special, to be truthful), but also to introduce a beautifully fucked-up blonde (Debi Diamond) to the mix, who devotes her lunch hour to blowing three guys she’s never met, and taking it up the ass from one of them. “Better be off, my break’s over,’ she shrugs as she wipes one load or another off her face, and that certainly brings a new dimension to the concept of late night convenience stores.

Of course, Above The Knee ends much as you’d expect... or maybe not, depending on your own penchant for patellas, and although you can’t help thinking that a few more plot twists would have helped things along, Above The Knee is not so below the belt that you wouldn’t want to watch it again.

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