This is a weird one.
I was going through some old boxes yesterday (in between bouts on Second Life, of course), collections from college of old photos, letters, papers... exam results (eeek) and the assorted detritus that seemed so important back then and now... well now it's just funny, with melancholy bits attached.
But one thing that caught my eye was a survey that a couple of girls put together, then sent out around campus, quizzing people on where their sexual tastes lay in the real world and in that of the still-reasonably new and unexplored universe of computers.
Do you remember cyber sex circa 1999? When the message boards were thriving and people still remembered Compuserve? When even logging onto a page was enough to send your IM box haywire? And when the whole thing was still so new and exciting that even an online kiss with a complete stranger was an absolute thrill?
I'm not going to publish the whole thing... it goes on for pages and it does get a little samey. But the question that caught my eye... the one I'd like YOU to think about today, was...
WHICH DO YOU PREFER - CUNNILINGUS IN REAL LIFE? OR CYBER?
And the result?
23% of female respondents, among those who actively played online, said they preferred it in real life.
Which means... 77% didn't.
Some thoughts...
Cunnilingus is not like fellatio. Licking cunt is not like sucking cock. Different physical sensations sensations are involved, different emotional stimuli. Guys (and fiction writers) might like to think that a tongue only has to glance in the direction of a clitoris for the girl to be bouncing off the walls in the embrace of seventeen separate orgasms, any one of which could fell an elephant. But the reality, of course, is very very different.
Of course there are exceptions... that 23% to begin with. (Although, I can't help but notice that a lot of them seem to be bisexual/gay. A discussion for another time, perhaps?) But the fact is, or would seem to be, that a woman is far more likely to receive the emotional stimuli she needs from the act when it takes place wholly in her mind... the thought of what it
could be like... than if it is actually happening in the flesh.
No surprise there. I recently read a paper that argued that the female orgasm is actually sparked by the same (still largely unexplored) areas of the brain as the male erection, and that unless there is also an underlying health issue, male Erectile Dysfunction and a female's inability to climax are essentially one and the same issue. The same psychological issue.
True or false? You can discuss that among yourselves. But the female orgasm is primarily an emotional response... which means the stimuli that cause female orgasm are also primarily emotional. Which, in turn, would suggest that a girl is far more likely to be turned on reading about certain acts than she might be actually performing them.
So maybe 77% of women really do prefer to have their pussies licked on paper, than by a real life flesh and blood lover?
Maybe, in this case at least, fantasy is more fulfilling than reality?
And maybe... well, maybe I should shut up and wait for people to start responding to this? But one final thing. I happened to mention this to a male friend last night, and asked him for this thoughts on the matter. His response? A very indignant "well, I've never had any complaints."
I'm sure he hasn't. After all, ladies, when was the last time
you told your lover that he was an absolutely lousy lay?
7 comments:
Oh Jenny! What an interesting post.... i would say real for sure, but to weave a monologue or duet that pleasures a lover is a delightful substitute. My uncertainty lies with whether my mustache and soul patch are desired or not.... My informal poll is tending to take them both off or the stach with one decided keep stach lose beard! Decissions! But I agree on one point. Technique is everything, and one orgasm to leave her with is far too inadequate. Three to eight is far better. My personal best is eight by the way....
But words are powerful and no less real in the mind, whichis after all where we all live.
A great thought for the day, and I disagree with your worry that males won't like the post! LOL I did!
Now about those pictures..... I'd love to see your eyes on the camera as you give a kiss to your lover....
Then lower.....
V
I've had girls explode in my mouth and I've had others who want to skip it and get right down to intercourse. Everyone has different triggers and that's what makes having a new lover fun.
Fascinating observation. I think you are right. I love eating out a girl, and have eaten out quite a few, but I am always aware that I am doing it first and foremost for their pleasure, both emotional and physical, and not with the sole goal of giving them an orgasm. Girls can get great pleasure from cunnilingus, but that pleasure does not necessarily include an orgasm.
When I have been with a girl for a while though, or in a relationship, then the likelihood of her having an orgasm through oral sex increases greatly. There definitely needs to be that emotional connection, at least for many if not most women.
And girls do love reading about it. Girls have told me they enjoy masturbating to what I write them, and of course they masturbate to orgasm. You need to get in a girl's head first to get into her pussy with the ultimate pleasure for her.
Great post.
Tough debate ... except the part about licking pussy on paper. I love giving and receiving from either sex.
As for getting into a girl's mind, the imagination is the greatest sex toy out there. Cyber can occasionally be exciting and orgasmic, but nothing beats the real flesh on flesh sensation.
Now, where did I put those new batteries ...
Andee
xoxo
What a great post! I wonder if that percentage would be any different now, especially among Second Life fans. When I started to read what you wrote I thought, "That's crazy! How could anyone prefer virtual over real anything?" But as I read on I realized that I agree at least in part: I would definitely rather have really hot sex online through role play on Second Life, than mediocre sex in the real world.
Its a far more personal thing for a woman to allow a man to eat her pussy. A man can and will allow pretty much any old skank to do the deed, but for women it's way different...it has to mean something, it has to have that emotional depth and only then does it satisfy. (my perception)
I agree that the thoughts in my mind lead to my erections faster than direct stimulation more often than not.
I would think and my experience leads me to believe that it is much the same in women, after all "DESIRE" is a necessary ingredient to get worked up on the way to orgasm !!
Anyway, I really enjoy your Blog since I've been reading it, and check it out before most other things when I turn on the computer in the mornings...love it !!!!
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