Foreign Policy

I met him at a dance club
His accent was so proper
He said that he’s from London and
His name was Rodney Trotter

“I’m part English,” I replied
He laughed, “you’re shitting me?”
“No my gran’s from Westmoreland
“So I’ve got some Brit in me.”

I laughed at his next comment, though
We’ve all heard it before
“If you want to step outside with me
“I’ll put in a whole lot more.”

We sat and had a drink or three
We kissed, he squeezed my breast
He whispered how he’d love to see it
I murmured “and the rest?”

He nodded and we went outside
And I don’t want to gloat
But I got a lot more Brit in me
He poured it down my throat

Thick and sweet and so damned much
I could barely keep it in
But I swallowed hard and wiped my mouth
As it dripped down from my chin

Then we went back into the dance club
He introduced me to his friends
An Oz, a Scot, one Welsh, one Dutch
… and I swallowed the UN!