Friday, September 30, 2011

Drenched and Delicious



And that's all I need to say. Get on over to see the Drenched One and you'll not only find the first posting of that pic, but you'll also discover one of the greatest odes to the joys of cock sucking that I have ever come across. Or cum, come to that....

The Continuing Adventures of the Sexsational She HulXXX

THE STORY SO FAR....

Transformed into a RAMPAGING GREEN GODDESS by an UNIDENTIFIED ASS FULL OF RADIOACTIVE CUM, lawyer Jenital Warters SWEARS A SOLEMN OATH to FIGHT CRIME where ever she may find it...

...but the rest of the time she spends having sex.

Oh, the life of a superhero is so damned hard.


NOW READ ON....

WISE-CRACKIN' COCK-SUCKIN' HIP-SWAYIN' YAY-SAYIN' PUSSY LICKIN' HOT KICKIN' CUM-SQUIRTIN' CRIME-FIGHTIN'... THE SEXSATIONAL SHE HULXXX IS GETTING IT ON WITH THE WASP.

Unfortunately, she just squashed her so... we fast forward a week...


With one mighty leap SHE HULXXX reaches her destination, the BLACK, BITTER, TENSED-TIGHT, BLUE BALLED HEART of Noo Yawk... THE CITY THAT NEVER PUTS OUT ON A FIRST DATE...

...where a GRUESOME sight awaits her arrival


Thinking fast, and KNOWING that the MILDEST TOUCH might send him hurtling over the edge to oblivion, SHE HULXXX does the only thing she can hope... hope beyond hope... might save the tortured youth.

She recites some EROTIC POETRY....


With ASTONISHING RESULTS!

Leopard Man TWITCHES... he GASPS... he CRIES OUT HER NAME...

and then he cums like there's NO TOMORROW

Even SHE HULXXX is stunned to silence as he drenches her with his PENT UP MAN JUICE!




Only as he finally SHUDDERS TO A STANDSTILL and the copious shower begins to let up does she finally speak... a trademark wisecrack to mark another triumph.



DON'T MISS THE NEXT EXCITING INSTALLMENT... SHE HULXXX AND THE ASSHOLE OF DESIRE

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Man of Your Dreams


Thanks, Seph!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Curved Air - Backstreet Luv



It's older than dirt, but this might well be one of my favorite songs ever.

And every woman reading this will understand why.

xxx

Further Adventures in Second Life... the Sexsational She Hulxxx

THE STORY SO FAR....


Cowboy librarian JENITAL WARTERS was just another pretty girl with an itch to scratch when she got in line at the SUPERHERORGY sex convention.

And when she slipped into a back room with a bunch of horny comic book crime fighters, that's all she wanted to do... scratch that itch.

Instead she wound up with SO MUCH MORE... and she never did discover who did it.


Was it GLACIERMAN'S KID SISTER - so hot she melts herself twice a week?

Was it LOOSE BRAIN, the suave multi-millionaire feared throughout GOT'EM CITY as the dark knight TWATMAN???

Was it the coarse NORSE DEITY known simply as TH'WHORE?


Was it that horny Dalek with the DP obsession?

Was it the MULTI-PRICKED half man/half cephalopod DOCTOR OCTOCOCK?

Was it mild-mannered WEED WICHARDS, the india-rubber marvel who called himself MISTER CUM-TASTIC?


Was it PERVY PEPPER, the HIGH SCHOOL NERD who the world refers to as SPIKE-HER (DRINK) MAN?

OR WAS IT THE EMERALD MAN MOUNTAIN KNOWN TO A TREMBLING UNIVERSE AS THE SO-SUCKABLE BULK?



But one of them... one of them left her with the ASS FULL of HYPER-RADIATED HOT GAMMA GREEN CUM which TRANSFORMED her from a PETITE PRETTY MOUSE-FRAU with CUTE CURVES and a precious POUT...

...into an EIGHT FOOT GIANTESS with TITS THE SIZE OF TEXAS


and an INSATIABLE APPETITE FOR COCK AND PUSSY

Jenital Warters is THE SEXSATIONAL SHE HULXXX

Next time - SHE HULXXX SWALLOWS A LOAD

Saturday, September 24, 2011

In Praise of Being Peeped


It’s not so much a matter of getting caught looking, is it? It’s more to do with positioning yourself so you’re not only looking, but you are seen to be as well. That is the true nature of voyeurism, and of exhibitionism too - or, at least, that is the nature as it is depicted in Caught Looking, an anthology of twenty tales pieced together by Alison Tyler and Rachel Kramer Bussel that ranks among my own favorite reads this fall.

read more at Eden Fantasys.
Sex toys - EdenFantasys adult toys store

Friday, September 23, 2011

Adultworld... friends no longer?


Wondering whether anybody has heard anything about Adultworldfriends... the Facebook of Fucking that launched long enough ago to seem like it was going to stick around forever, but which seems to have vanished (or at least moved and left no forwarding address) within the last two weeks or so?

Sad to see it go (if it has gone) - there was a fun crowd of people on there, once you got past the inevitable front row of sad guys begging a date off anyone who even looked female, and some of the best home photo galleries on the entire net. Wish I'd saved more of them than I did but, like so many other gone-but-not-forgotten Internet sites, who was to know that one day it would be no more?

Anyway, for anyone who missed out on the fun, this is what it was all about.... and for the rest of us... where shall we go next?

And talking of disappearances... has anybody seen or heard from Drenched and Delicious in the two days since she posted "Dear God"? Because that site, too, appears to have disappeared....

What is happening here?

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

It is supposed to be fun...

I intended writing another in my ongoing series of Clit-erion Collection movie reviews tonight but, for whatever reason, the mood I was in simply wasn't conducive with the earnest bumpkins and grumpings that were taking place on the screen. And when I say earnest, I mean the kind of performance that leaves you wondering whether you've been getting it wrong all these years, and sex really is meant to be enacted only between people who look (and sound, and even act) as though they either have a mouthful of sour fruit OR, they are on the verge of making a momentous discovery in the realms of world hunger or the end of all war...

And they could not crack a smile, or even relax their frown for a moment.

Truly, I have met REM fans who look to be having more fun than some of these people, and then I wonder... Omg, what would they lok like if they WEREN'T getting paid to have sex with someone who really isn't that bad looking?

That ended any pretense I had of getting some writing done, so I turned instead to the heady realms of amateur net flicks - and I promptly ran into this, one of the most delightfully fun and, as a consequence, ultra hot three minutes I have seen since... Well, since the last one.

Whoever you are,, anonymous girl and unseen partner, thank you! You reminded me what I love about sex films.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Another early morning quiz... what's your kinky turn-on?


Apparently.... this is me. (Actually, there's no "apparently" about it... at last, a quiz that got it right!)

You Scored as Biting
When it comes to being kinky, your biggest turn on is biting. You love the ectasy of teeth sinking into your flesh, and are probably willing to return the favor. Sex just isn't sex without using your teeth.

Biting 58%
Whips 58%
Blind Folds 58%
Chains/Handcuffs 50%
Bondage 42%
Blood 25%


now see how you do.... take the quiz here

Monday, September 19, 2011

Just a reminder - the sale is still on

From now till September 30, all my Kindle e-book editions are available for $2.99


THE FIRST TIME AND 59 OTHER....
KINDLE EDITION buy here

THREE NUNS AND A MOTORCYCLE
KINDLE EDITION - buy here


BELOW BLUE LONDON
KINDLE EDITION - buy here


COUSIN TOM'S MOTORBIKE AND OTHER STORIES
KINDLE EDITION buy here


WHAT I DID ON MY SUMMER VACATION
KINDLE EDITION buy here

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Googling Myself III



Once more around the wastes of Google land, seeking myself in strange and unusual places. Jenny swallows lots of cum is the promise, and she does.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Joan Crawford's XXX secret


Reading Dave Thompson's Black and White and Blue history of porn movies, I was intrigued by the chapter detailing the porno careers of various soon-to-be superstars, most of which have been ferocious denied by either the stars or their estates. The Marilyn Monroe ones that occasionally surface, and lead the mainstream media a merry dance, were long ago disproven.

But Joan Crawford?

Apparently she made a string of pornos when she was first struggling to break into Hollywood, and she didn't do a very good job of silencing the people who saw them, Thompson quotes actor Ted Jordan, as he recalled discussing Crawford’s past with the young (and then-unknown) Marilyn Monroe, in the late 1940s. “Hell," Monroe told him. "I didn’t fuck six guys in a stag movie like she did….”

There's a handful of titles associated with Crawford's appetite for fame... "The Plumber" and "The Casting Couch" among them... and Crawford worked furiously to disassociate herself from them, even calling upon her studio's legal department in one battle. But now it seems that the denials were not as cast iron as we thought, and Crawford's supporters hoped! Because here they (possibly) come....

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Googling Myself II

Continuing my trawl round the web, seeking my namesakes in whichever corners they may be lurking, I came across this. or, should I say, they came across her.

Although it's not quite the cosmetics commercial of my dreams, I bet the shower afterwards felt good....

Jenny swallows cum

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

MISS THE START, MISS THE END



But the middle could go on forever... An antidote to whichever anodyne modern porn flick you watched last, this clip has almost everything you could ask for... Including the very real possibility that they will both have a giggling fit. Watch it here!

This one on the other hand, is another for our occasional series of "the things they say.". Or, more accurately, the noises they make.

Hrrrrrrrrmmmmmm... Hrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmm.....

Friday, September 2, 2011

Googling Myself

"Have you been Googling yourself again?"

"Yeah, but just quickly before I went to sleep."

And this is what I found, although it's got nothing to do with me. I do love it, though!

Stop by and browse.


"Jenny Swallows, or Jenny the Skateboarding Finch, is the sworn enemy of Robat.

"I should've said this in Robat's bio, but he hates eggs and anything that happens to produce eggs. Jenny Swallows is quite popular for producing eggs because she's often a surrogate mother to those creatures that can't lay eggs. (poor mammals ;n
She's a hero to some, yep.

"Robat wants to kill her, the eggs she makes, and anything else that makes eggs.
yep even Platypuses.

"Did I mention Jenny is never seen without her skateboard? That's sort of important"