Saturday, June 12, 2010

Ambrose Horne - Treasures of the Blue Museum

As will already be known to attentive readers of the adventure that I titled "The Strange Case of the Midnight Succubus"*, I have since the outset of my career in deduction maintained a museum of the manifold queer and unusual articles with which man and woman pleasure or otherwise investigate one another in the course of their erotic activities.

The purpose of this Blue Museum, as I named it in tribute to Scotland Yard's Black Museum, are twofold. One, to serve as a permanent record of my own triumphs, and two, to remind humanity that there is no ending to the various and wonderful means by which we achieve that state of paradise that the French, notwithstanding the odious accent with which they do so, rightly call le petit mort.

Yet it must be said that several of these items, collected in the course of my travels, continue to baffle and perplex me, and the object with which I present you here is one such. Certainly I deduce its purpose to be not dissimilar to the crude devices with which male sufferers of certain venereal diseases are treated, its motorised components certainly being conducive with those remedies. Furthermore, the appearance of the singularly memorable term "Cuisinart," containing as it does a four letter term that does not include the letters i,s, a or r, would suggest it perhaps being relevant to similar treatments for certain maladies of the female.

At the end of so much scholastic exertion, however, I confess that I simply do not know the true purpose of this most bewitching article, and I would therefore welcome the erudition of any better informed viewer of this short notice.

*The Strange Case of the Midnight Succubus can be found in the first volume of Ambrose Horne's collected memoirs, The Erotic Adventures of Ambrose Horne.

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