Three Special Guys

There’s a lot of dildos on the market right now; I know, because I seem to have a box full of the things, including a few I’ve never even used... gag gifts from friends made from chemical compounds that you wouldn’t feed to a landfill; ugly colors that looked better online; ugly shapes that you wouldn’t want to touch.

But for every few duds, there’s always a stud, and for every few winners there’s always a champion. And then there’s that select handful (and the best ones are at least that!) that ... well, they’re almost like old boyfriends, aren’t they, because you know every ridge and every bump too, but even more importantly, they know you too.

So here’s a few lines about three special guys... friends who step far beyond the customary parameters of a sex toy, and become a part of the furniture too.



I called my first dildo Chucky because
That was who he replaced
When Chucky was chucked
But I wanted to fuck
And he always found the right place

But he really was not much to look at, and
He tasted all rubber-y too
It was time to upgrade
From when Chuck was made
Cos I wanted one just like... you


I called my next dildo Randy because
That’s how he made me feel
That discrete suction cup
Kept him standing up
And all I had to do was kneel

He was a little too artificial though
He still did not feel quite true
It was time to upgrade
From when Randy was made
Cos I wanted one just like... you


I called my last dildo Lance because
That’s how deep inside he is going
And that taut VixSkin feel
Feels warm, nearly real
And when he spreads me, it’s just like he’s growing

Maybe he needs more attention than most
But it’s got to be worth it, you see
Cos he’s feeling just right
And he’s stretching me tight
And he’s not you... I’ve got one like me!


This posting sponsored by EdenFantasys