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This is a weird one.
I was going through some old boxes yesterday (in between bouts on Second Life, of course), collections from college of old photos, letters, papers... exam results (eeek) and the assorted detritus that seemed so important back then and now... well now it's just funny, with melancholy bits attached.
But one thing that caught my eye was a survey that a couple of girls put together, then sent out around campus, quizzing people on where their sexual tastes lay in the real world and in that of the still-reasonably new and unexplored universe of computers.
Do you remember cyber sex circa 1999? When the message boards were thriving and people still remembered Compuserve? When even logging onto a page was enough to send your IM box haywire? And when the whole thing was still so new and exciting that even an online kiss with a complete stranger was an absolute thrill?
I'm not going to publish the whole thing... it goes on for pages and it does get a little samey. But the question that caught my eye... the one I'd like YOU to think about today, was...
WHICH DO YOU PREFER - CUNNILINGUS IN REAL LIFE? OR CYBER?
And the result?
23% of female respondents, among those who actively played online, said they preferred it in real life.
Which means... 77% didn't.
Some thoughts...
Cunnilingus is not like fellatio. Licking cunt is not like sucking cock. Different physical sensations sensations are involved, different emotional stimuli. Guys (and fiction writers) might like to think that a tongue only has to glance in the direction of a clitoris for the girl to be bouncing off the walls in the embrace of seventeen separate orgasms, any one of which could fell an elephant. But the reality, of course, is very very different.
Of course there are exceptions... that 23% to begin with. (Although, I can't help but notice that a lot of them seem to be bisexual/gay. A discussion for another time, perhaps?) But the fact is, or would seem to be, that a woman is far more likely to receive the emotional stimuli she needs from the act when it takes place wholly in her mind... the thought of what it could be like... than if it is actually happening in the flesh.
No surprise there. I recently read a paper that argued that the female orgasm is actually sparked by the same (still largely unexplored) areas of the brain as the male erection, and that unless there is also an underlying health issue, male Erectile Dysfunction and a female's inability to climax are essentially one and the same issue. The same psychological issue.
True or false? You can discuss that among yourselves. But the female orgasm is primarily an emotional response... which means the stimuli that cause female orgasm are also primarily emotional. Which, in turn, would suggest that a girl is far more likely to be turned on reading about certain acts than she might be actually performing them.
So maybe 77% of women really do prefer to have their pussies licked on paper, than by a real life flesh and blood lover?
Maybe, in this case at least, fantasy is more fulfilling than reality?
And maybe... well, maybe I should shut up and wait for people to start responding to this? But one final thing. I happened to mention this to a male friend last night, and asked him for this thoughts on the matter. His response? A very indignant "well, I've never had any complaints."
I'm sure he hasn't. After all, ladies, when was the last time you told your lover that he was an absolutely lousy lay?